The article "What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me?" talks about attraction, it was written by Maria Boomhower.
There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in order to help people understand one another.One of the araes that causes a lot of grief in business and especially in relationships, is that no matter what category you fall into you're either a:Say
Show
FeelDiscovering what the other person is in this area, can take you a long way in building relations, credibility, confidence and the ability to make the other person joyful.Why so much in one area.
Based on the persons type,(and most don’t even realize which they are) on a subconscious level they expect the other person to treat them the same way.Here is an example of how this works:At home:
A husband come home with flowers and says here, the wife says that’s nice but doesn’t seem overly thrilled.He gets annoyed and says what’s wrong. She says why can you say be that you love me?He at this moment upset says, I just did, I brought you folwers didn’t I? She gets up set and leaves the room. He throws up his arms and says, “I just can’t win.”At work:
The manager notices that his crew did a great job on the last prjoect.
He thinks, I shuold do something for them. He goes out and gets somehting. It could be anything from dnouts to a bonus on their next check. Yet, 2/3rds of them seem upset. He thinks great! There is just no pleasing people, why do I even try?So, what is happening with these two scenarios?People accept and desire appreciation sohwn in different manners.For the at home example:
The guy is a show type of personality. He understands and shows his love or appreciation by thnigs. Wehre as his wife understands it by words. For another person, they would understand it only by being embraced, hugged or kissed. Yet, most of the time we don’t even know for ourselves what we are and expect the other person to know.For the at work example:
Some of the people just wanted to hear the boss say, “Hey, you did a great job”.
They would then try harder in the future to continue their work effort.Others would prefer to have the boss come up, shake their hand, and feel the interaction show a more valid display of appreciation.In each scenario, there will be people, who to show love or appreciation need:Things
Words
ContactBy listen to how they answer your questions, it can be fairly fast to understand what they are.
This can be very helpful when you have had a lot of conflict in a business or personal partnership:Notice if they say:
I see, (Things oriented, also visual)
I hear what you're syaing.
(Appreciate words)
Or, I feel upset or joyful.
(Desire interaction)No matter what type the person is, it is important to notice what language they are uisng. It is also important to remember that tehre is no hard and fast rules.
Many peolpe are a combination of two or all three. The important thing is to try out different ways and notice how they react to each.This can go along way and bridging the gap in many communication barriers.All the Best!
Maria Boomhower
The Master Communicator
http://www.Falconfreedom.Com
http://www.Mariaboomhower.Blogspot.Com
P.S. If you like what you're reading in this ezine, you'll love the book, "Overcoming Barriers to Communication."
It's a manual that helps you overcome the challengers that start with Intrapersonal to Interpersonal and on to Mass Communication.
Overcoming Barriers to Communication
|
